To three or not to three, that is the question….
Dear friends and family sorry to not write in quite a while, we have been dealing with the hardest part of the adoption process so far. Last Tuesday we were told that that our immigration approval had been accepted and we were officially waiting as of March 14, 2006 (that is the date from immigration). Oh the joy that comes with that……..On a side note our social worker with the agency mentioned that she had checked to see if there were any sibling groups that fit our criteria (two healthy kids under 5…that’s it). She said there were none at the time, she did however say that she felt like she should tell us about two sets of sibling groups of three, that were waiting for families. Apparently most people are waiting for single infants and don’t budge on that, there is a novelty in getting a beautiful perfect baby, however I don’t believe that was ever a need we needed to fill. There are very few families willing to take older children and more than one, that must have been the sucker sign they were looking for.
The first sibling group of three consisted of a almost one year old boy, a almost two year old boy and a four year old girl. These children are some of the most beautiful children you have seen, and with a history that no child should have to deal with.
The second set consists of a four year old girl, a five-year-old boy and a six-year-old boy. I have say there was an immediate connection in me to these children, even before I knew anything about them. As far as attachment goes they have been loved by immediate family until August of last year. Pardon the cliché but in terms of adopted children it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, or in their case been loved.
Before I write anything more it is important for me to preface with the fact that we have made no decisions on this as of yet.
In general our adoption process would have gone like this……fill out a crap load of paperwork, have people scrutinize our lives, get approved by social worker, get approved by US government, wait for call about which two kids we could have, wait for travel dates, pick up kids, come home. After the paper work the thinking is out of our hands. Did I mention spend lots of money?
This how it has worked…..fill out a crap load of paperwork, have people scrutinize our lives, get approved by social worker, get approved by US government, be told about children that have been waiting in the orphanage 8 months for a family to love them, have three children’s fate in our hands along with the two at home we have been thinking about this whole time, go back and forth on the decision at least 100 times. Have paperwork changed to be able to take three kids (just in case), refile with immigration for three. Did I mention spend even more than lots of money?
I can’t write much more now, I have to go back to going back and forth.
Dear friends and family sorry to not write in quite a while, we have been dealing with the hardest part of the adoption process so far. Last Tuesday we were told that that our immigration approval had been accepted and we were officially waiting as of March 14, 2006 (that is the date from immigration). Oh the joy that comes with that……..On a side note our social worker with the agency mentioned that she had checked to see if there were any sibling groups that fit our criteria (two healthy kids under 5…that’s it). She said there were none at the time, she did however say that she felt like she should tell us about two sets of sibling groups of three, that were waiting for families. Apparently most people are waiting for single infants and don’t budge on that, there is a novelty in getting a beautiful perfect baby, however I don’t believe that was ever a need we needed to fill. There are very few families willing to take older children and more than one, that must have been the sucker sign they were looking for.
The first sibling group of three consisted of a almost one year old boy, a almost two year old boy and a four year old girl. These children are some of the most beautiful children you have seen, and with a history that no child should have to deal with.
The second set consists of a four year old girl, a five-year-old boy and a six-year-old boy. I have say there was an immediate connection in me to these children, even before I knew anything about them. As far as attachment goes they have been loved by immediate family until August of last year. Pardon the cliché but in terms of adopted children it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, or in their case been loved.
Before I write anything more it is important for me to preface with the fact that we have made no decisions on this as of yet.
In general our adoption process would have gone like this……fill out a crap load of paperwork, have people scrutinize our lives, get approved by social worker, get approved by US government, wait for call about which two kids we could have, wait for travel dates, pick up kids, come home. After the paper work the thinking is out of our hands. Did I mention spend lots of money?
This how it has worked…..fill out a crap load of paperwork, have people scrutinize our lives, get approved by social worker, get approved by US government, be told about children that have been waiting in the orphanage 8 months for a family to love them, have three children’s fate in our hands along with the two at home we have been thinking about this whole time, go back and forth on the decision at least 100 times. Have paperwork changed to be able to take three kids (just in case), refile with immigration for three. Did I mention spend even more than lots of money?
I can’t write much more now, I have to go back to going back and forth.
posted by becster at 2:20 PM
2 Comments:
Ooooo. I don't envy you that quandry! And James says I absolutely CANNOT start the process for the other three.
So, does this mean another six week wait for the government to approve the revised paperwork???
I am so proud of you and I know you and Mitch will make the best decision for you and your family. Whichever way you decide, it will be the right decision.
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